My mother always said that I should put my pictures with my poems. Just one more thing she was right about.
Yes, this is my “ABOUT” page.
(Or, as I prefer, “Why? Why me, why this blog, why now?”)
God has been too good, too kind, too strong for me for too long for me to be quiet about it any longer.
My desire for this blog is to show this in ways both large and small, and sometimes unexpected. I suppose it could be said that I plan on thanking God for the life he’s given me by starting to live it. Finally.
It is not my primary intent to assert that those who feel differently about God are wrong – only that God alone is always right, and I intend on sticking as close to him as possible.
This blog is my ongoing declaration before the Lord to the world that he alone is God, that no one has life at all apart from him who is Life, and that as such he can save from any circumstance – no matter how dire. In that case, why should I ever give up?
It is a declaration of my life as having come from him, and of my joy as only coming through knowing him – to the extent that I do.
As to “why now”?
The last two years of my life have been the worst ever. I saw my mother slowly sicken and decline through forces beyond her control or mine. It was not as simple as her age or mere human sickness, but was more insidious than that. Whichever way we turned for help, there was little to be found – only another door leading further and further down.
It was like we were living in the dream of a meshuggana – a person taken leave of their senses. Others, I know, have had far worse experiences. But I would not wish the last two years on any other person – no matter how I might hate them. And I do try not to do that.
At some point I will go into some detail about these events, but not yet.
In working on this “About”, one particular memory occurred to me. Years ago, my mother and I watched a program about Judaism hosted by Theodore Bikel. As a way of describing the purpose and mindset behind Jewish feasts and celebrations, he said something like, “Whenever a great calamity befell the Jewish people, and yet they survived, they said, ‘Our enemy tried to kill us – but failed. Let’s eat!’”
So, even though she did die, this blog is my statement both that “to live is Christ, to die is gain” and that Satan neither took her true life nor can he have my joy. As I said at her funeral, death does not have the last word.
Although she left this physical world, it was her belief and it is mine that by being absent from her body, she has returned to be present with God. There are no more restraints on her life. She is free – not only because she has shucked off her mortal body, but because she is in the manifest presence of God. The maker and giver of life.
To me, the name of the blog most closely reflects and sums up my above feelings.
It is a declaration to the only true enemy of humanity – Satan – to “rejoice not, o my enemy. For though I fall, I shall arise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be my light.”
Forget about getting God on your side, he’s already for you. Get on His side. Once you do, as long as you don’t give up, Satan can never beat you.
Though I Fall 
Hi Scott, in Him we live and move and have our being… so let’s rock!!! I wanted to thank you for the follow! Please be aware that my blog is a bilingual one. So you may get links to some poems in English as well as to some in Italian… Pictures, on the other hand, have no language barriers
Keep up the good work.
Anna
Mi piace molto! I’m gratified for your likeminded response. And, as far as your Italian poems, I tried to read a couple out loud. Butchered them – but it was fun. I’m studying with a Rosetta course. Thanks again and you keep up the good work, too!
Thank you so much for following First Night Design.
You’re welcome. Thank you for following mine. I enjoy browsing your blog and seeing the work you’ve created. What you’ve done with your life since it’s taken a new tack. I appreciate what you wrote about your mother. In my post “You’re not going crazy – you’re going sane in a crazy world!”, I talk a little about my mother’s struggles with the same illness that your mother had. As time goes on, I will write more about her.
Such writing is very therapeutic. I must read the post you mention. My there’s a lot of bi-polarity around!
It’s unfortunate that people who are diagnosed with it are usually too embarrassed to talk about it. Your mother’s book sounds fascinating. I’ll have to look for it. (And I didn’t give the right name for my own post! It’s “You’re going sane in a crazy world!”
Indeed so. Though I do believe some of the stigma has been removed. We have a number of well-known people talking about it in the UK in no uncertain terms, like Stephen Fry, so I think we’re getting there, albeit slowly.
I love your photos, your poetry, your insights…
I do get it. As the daughter and granddaughter of the diagnosed-after-the-fact and as one who the Lord healed of the same illness your dear mother suffered from (which I personally believe is as close to hell as on earth as a person can get) I have lived both sides. The stigma (and the downright inconvenience of it all) make most people walk away. But you don’t. When these fresh wounds are bandaged by scars I believe you will find the Lord has placed an authority in you that will make a difference.
You see your loved one go through things – and you go through things – you would not wish on your worst enemy. As I said, I’m sure. I need to say more about it, just not sure of the best way yet.
Thank you for your very kind words. As to your final sentence, I would say, “From your lips to God’s ears”, but I feel as though he is the one speaking through you. The next two years should be as interesting – in a totally different way – as the last two have been.
You have just left me an amazingly kind comment – which says more about your good nature than it does about my blog – and I see here that sharing your images and writing is an act of communion for you, which deeply moves a sceptical blogbeliever like me. What you are doing, exorcising pain by celebrating beauty, is the best any of us can hope for. Thank you!
1. Hey- that was a really good About post. 8^) 2. You have more than repaid my comment with your own. It’s the finest one I’ve gotten – crystalizing what I’m trying to do, and in ways that I had not realized, let alone verbalized, before. Thank you. (And thank Sarah at First Night Design. I found you through her reblog of your “Calico” post. I really like her, too.)
….and Sarah at First Night Design just happens to be one of my closest and oldest and most loved friends – I really like her, too! And I like your intuition. Good luck in all you do.
Hi, Scott! I like your declaration. 🙂 Good on you for keeping your mom’s attributes in mind as you pay tribute to her life in your own special way. My mom’s been institutionalized for two months now. Dementia and lack of coordination being the main reasons she may not get to go home. My dad at 83, is doing really good, but he can’t care for her 24/7. My two brothers and I live in Nebraska, but were born and raised in Sedalia, Mo. Our family moved up here, to Lincoln, in 1974. Mom and Dad moved back to their house in 1980, so distance has kept us from seeing a whole lot of each other through the years.
What the immediate future will bring is anybody’s guess. Lord knows, I suppose, and He knows best, too. Mom is enjoying the company and the socializing there, and her biggest complaint is boredom. Dad takes her to church on Sunday, and then out to eat. She likes and appreciates that.
I’m trying not have any particular expectations, and perhaps, I’ll learn something from you and your experiences.
She seems to have lost the will to live, which makes recovery practically impossible. Getting “old” looks scarier than ever.
Best wishes to you and yours! I look forward to further banter, however and wherever it comes into play. Peace, Keith
Keith, I apologize for not responding directly to you on this point. It’s not because I didn’t take it seriously, but rather because I did.
I’ll work on something over the weekend. Nothing long, it’s just difficult to say what I might say in short form and a (relatively) public forum like this. Thanks for sharing.
Never hurry, my friend. I’m not going anywhere. And some things don’t belong on Facebook. LoL 🙂
Sometimes I’m not sure _Facebook_ belongs on Facebook…8^)
Hey Scott, I’ve got a bone to pick with you. I was wanting to read back some of your blog, but I’m struggling because you don’t have a monthly archives. 😦 Tell me, if you will, how is the best way to read back? Right now ( and you’ll laugh at this) I keep finding myself reading posts I’ve read before. That’s not such a problem except I have forgotten the first read and find myself about to comment exactly what I had commented earlier. My mind is failing yet again…
D’oh! My previous theme had one, and I just totally blanked on having lost it in the move. I’ll get on that later today. Thanks for the heads-up – and the thoughtful request.
Cate, I fixed the monthly archive widget. Enjoy 8^).
Thanks. I’ll get back to it later today. 🙂
…Easily one of the best ‘about’ pages I’ve read! Keep up the excellent work and thanks for making time to visit my spot of the blogosphere!
Thank you very kindly! I had already planned a return visit to your site, but now you’ve increased my anticipation. 8^)
Hey! Thanks for the consideration. I’ve got to make some time to ‘tidy up’ a bit, but it’ll happen… I’ve already booked my return trip to yours too!